Let me tell you what, I am right there with everyone who has struggled connecting with their kids.  Having four kids, three of them daughters, and all four of them under the age of 17, I am fully aware of this real-world challenge. Hey, let’s face it, the world in which our kids are growing up in is different than ours.  Not to say ours was better but the kinds of pressures they are facing today, we didn’t experience to the same degree. There are more distractions, more broken relationships, more expectations, and more activities to manage than ever before.  

Of all my children, my oldest daughter has probably been the most challenging for me to connect with on a consistent basis.  She is a teenager with many of the “typical” teenage drama going on, but unlike her two sisters, our personalities are different.  What I mean by that is that she is like a cat and the other two are like dogs. With dogs, they are typically loving, always wanting to play, and quick to roll over on their backs to get a big belly rub.   The cat, on the other hand, is more independent, moody and want to interact on their own terms. In my case, I am like the dog and my daughter is like the cat. Neither is wrong, just different. So trying to interact like a dog with a cat can produce some “hisses” now and then.  I’ve had to take a step back and figure out a better way to connect because my approach wasn’t working. I learned that instead of forcing things, I just had to be quiet, give her some space and let her have time to process things. Amazingly, when she is ready and had time to process, she is much more inclined to have a conversation with me and let me know how she is feeling.  I finally figured out I can’t take it personally and overreact. This is a temporary phase.

It’s no secret that kids are feeling tremendous amounts of pressure so we don’t need to give them any more, if at all possible.  It is important to remember that despite all of the challenges around this topic, there are some practical ways we can connect with our kids to support them during this very critical time in their lives.  No matter the age of your kids, it is important to always be present—your kids need to know that you are there for them, no matter what they are going through.

One of the ways we can do this is by carving out some time that is away from any of the typical scheduled activities like sports, clubs, or schoolwork, and just “be” with our kids.  I realize this is not an easy task —but name me one important thing in life that doesn’t require a little extra work?

The truth is that when kids seem distant, moody, or are otherwise “acting out”, this is often an indicator they are needing your support, love, and acceptance now more than ever.

So here are some fun  ideas that will help you connect with your kids.  Your efforts to strengthen your parental bond could be the difference between your kid thriving or failing, so please take this important responsibility very seriously.  

• Work Together in an Escape Room
• Make Your Favorite Meal Together
• Go Hiking Together
• Make Pottery at a Local Shop
• Learn a New Board Game Together
• Makeover or Nails (guys I did this recently for my girls and you would have thought I gave them a million dollars – led to a great conversation afterward 🙂  
• Play Their Favorite Video Game
• Go Swimming
• Paint Their Room Together for a Fresh Look
• Take a Camping Trip (I took my two oldest daughters on a Christian father/daughter camp two weeks ago—one of the best two-day investments I ever made)  
• Make a Greenery Wall with Potted Plants
• Paint on Canvas Together
• Take a Drive

I hope one or more of these ideas will inspire you to try something you both will love—or learn something new together.  Making positive experiences with our kids may take a little work, but it is worth every moment!

If you enjoyed these ideas, please take a moment to share on social media or pin this post to Pinterest. Let’s help make families stronger together. I appreciate every one of you for your continued support and encouragement on the blog.

Your Virtual Life Mentor,

Doug