It is hard to believe that schools are back in session and many families are already planning on what they are going to do for fall break. This really should not come as any surprise but every year it seems summer comes and goes faster and faster. I will admit though, I am looking forward to the football season and the opportunity to experience the outdoors as the leaves change colors. One thing I have been pondering recently is how someone can avoid getting so caught up in all the scheduling and running around and miss being able to do what really matters. Can you relate?  Well, I have some ideas on how to do this: Be in the Moment!  Let me explain.

Enjoy the smaller things in life. We spend so much time and effort worrying about what comes next instead of just enjoying the moment. As an example, we may schedule some extra time to spend at home with our family but while there, we may simultaneously think about home and work projects, various logistical concerns and most importantly, what’s for dinner. I want you to try something. This works for me. The next time you have some downtime at home, and you find yourself thinking about other things, go outside and focus on what you see (e.g. your kids playing in the backyard), or the sounds you hear. I will often go on my front porch and listen to the outside sounds. This is not only therapeutic but it also helps condition me to be able to notice and appreciate the things I often overlook and under-appreciate.    

Show you are present. A couple of days ago my daughter Sophia was trying to show me what she did in school that day. I was trying to listen (actually not really) and it became very clear to her I was not interested. Thankfully she was persistent with me and eventually stood directly in front of me, looked me straight in the eyes and said, “look at me.”  Wow, she sure got my attention. When we do things like this to the people we care about, it can really hurt them. We need to show them we care and value them. A simple way to do this is by looking them in the eyes when they are speaking to us. It is also important to have your body facing in their direction. What you are saying when you do this is that you value them as a person; you are engaged and ready to listen.

Maximize your time. Do you ever have those moments when you look at your kids or the people you hold dear and think about that one day all that you have right now will eventually change?  I know for me, I would do almost anything to spend one more day with my father, who passed away several years ago. Because I went through losing my father, I have learned the importance of maximizing my time with the people and things I care about. We all have daily responsibilities we all have to take care, this goes without saying, but when we have opportunities to spend time with the people we love, we need to maximize that time by being emotionally and mental checked in, giving them the time and attention they deserve.

Every once in a while, try flying by the seat of your pants. When I was younger, my family spent some time vacationing in Florida. It often overlapped during college football bowl season. My father was often referred to as the “fly guy” which meant, he often flew by the seat of his pants, so if he had a thought of doing something, he would often just blurt out, let’s go. On one occasion he had the idea of attending the Orange Bowl in Miami, Florida. This sounded great but when asked if he had tickets, he said no, we will get them when we get there. Well as you can imagine for the more structured planners in the family, this idea didn’t sit very well. He honestly didn’t care too much about what the planners thought (it was his money), other than to say, if you want to go, get in the car, I am leaving in 10 minutes. I am more of the planner type, but as I reflect on those experiences, it sure brought a lot of fun and excitement to my family. Whether you are more of the planner type or more like my father, I would strongly encourage you that when you are “being in the moment” and attuned to what is going on, and a random thought comes about doing something that you know those around would enjoy, act on it. When was the last time you surprised your spouse or family with something they least expected? Try it, it is awesome.

A few years ago, I made a commitment that once I got home from work, I would spend whatever time I had by being fully in the moment. It hasn’t always been easy, and I royally mess up sometimes, but as I am writing this, and think about all that has happened, I wouldn’t change my decision for anything in this world. Let me just encouraging you that if you have made the decision to get married and have a family, why not have the best marriage and family you possibly can?  One of my life goals is to be respected the most, by the people who know me the best. If you desire the same, being able to Be in the Moment is sure a great way to start…

God Bless,

Doug Hedrick