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The Power of Having Someone Who Cares

You may remember that a few weeks ago, I wrote about the importance of building a strong community. From the responses I received, I realized this topic struck a nerve. It seemed everyone, for the most part, agreed in principle that being part of a supportive community is important and helpful for every family. However, what was surprising and, honestly, a little discouraging, was just how many families did not have this type of community in place. So, I decided to write about this topic again, but this time I am going to be a little vulnerable with you and share my story. I hope it will inspire you and bring to life just how important it is to be part of a community of people who love you unconditionally, and who are there for you in your time of need.

My first few years of marriage were anything but great. I cannot tell you how many times the word “divorce” was thrown around. I am not proud of this, but I thought I knew enough and was smart enough to figure things out on my own. My wife and I were intelligent and accomplished professionals. Honestly, what was really behind my reluctance to seek help was a false sense of pride. I did not want people to know what was going on in our marriage because of how it would make me look. I was supposed to be the guy who had everything together, and who would be the person others would want to go to for marriage advice. Well, God in His infinite wisdom had other plans. I learned firsthand through this experience the power of having someone in your life that cares.

During this time, we lived in Virginia Beach, VA, in the heart of military USA, and we were in an area where we did not know many people. Somehow, our good friends back home in Indiana got wind of what was going on. To this day, I still do not know how they found out. One day I got a call from one of these friends who let me know that he was aware of what was going on and that he wanted to help. During my conversation with him, I tried to minimize the situation but he lovingly, yet firmly said, “this is what is going to happen.” He told me our friends had pooled their money together to pay for us to attend a weekend marriage conference in Norfolk, VA. My friend did not allow me to come up with an excuse, or even try to say no. He just said, you are going and if you do not we are prepared to fly out there, tie you up, and drive you up there ourselves. And you know what? He meant it. I will tell you, my marriage was at its breaking point. I saw no way out of the mess we were in. When I told my wife what had just happened, tears started swelling up in her eyes, I could see the brokenness and quiet desperation in her face, and at that moment I knew it was time to act. I can honestly say if it had not been for our friends, my marriage would have more than likely ended years ago. I firmly believe that God stepped in and got the attention of our friends to help us in our most desperate time of need. They loved us enough to respond by offering their prayers and financial support. You see, that is the value and power of having loving and caring people in your life. They were not looking for anything in return. They just wanted our marriage to succeed and for us to experience the “abundant” life that God had promised.

I realize that it is easy to dismiss what writers have to say until you know that they are speaking from first-hand experience. I hope that you can now understand why I am so passionate about this topic, and why I believe having a loving and caring community in place is so important for every family. I said in my previous blog that a great way to take care of yourself and your family is to widen your circle. Remember, you were never meant to do life alone!  Let me conclude by saying this: If you want to win in life, you need to be part of a caring community of people who love you, who want the best for you, and will do whatever they can to help you succeed. My marriage is living proof!

God Bless,

Doug Hedrick

Comments(2)

  1. El Ahlwardt says

    Thanks, Doug. Your exceptional transparency is an amazing offering to us. We shall heed your advice.

  2. Tom Dearborn says

    Thanks for sharing this important point Doug and illustrating it with personal experience. My family definitely had a great network in Chicagoland and now that we are relocating to Puerto Rico we will need to establish another one. Moving can be a great time of growth, but it can also be dangerous if not done right!

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