My wife, Ally, and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary in July, and I’m already planning a special celebration for her. We aren’t going to Europe or a luxury resort in the Maldives, but our anniversary will be loving, meaningful, and special for both of us.
Like most of you, we’ve been through a lot as a military family. I’ve been a US Army chaplain since 1998 and spent much of 2004 and 2005 in Iraq, leaving Ally to run our household and raise the first of our four children on her own for a time. I feel blessed to have her love, dedication, and strength in my life.
I’ve also learned a lot about what constitutes a successful marriage simply by planning ways to celebrate our wedding anniversaries. Here are some of the things I’ve learned:
Be Creative in Planning the Anniversary
Come up with something new so that you’re not doing the same old thing year after year. Doing the same thing for every anniversary will take the fun out of it and maybe even render it meaningless.
Mostly, though, a spouse wants to know you’ve put some thought into the anniversary plans or gift. The reality is that if you are being creative and thinking about what your husband or wife would like to do, you’re saying to that other person: “I consider you special, and I’m going to take some extra time to think about what makes you important and what makes you valuable.” To me, that’s critical.
Doug Hedrick and his wife, Ally Hedrick, celebrating their anniversary.
Approach Your Anniversary with the Right Attitude
It’s important to have the right attitude when you’re scheduling the event. It shouldn’t be an item on a checklist or a chore that you have to get done. Enjoy the process and let your spouse know that you’re enjoying it!
Don’t worry if everything isn’t perfect. It’s not always so much about the end product and doing everything perfectly. A lot of it is how you go about it, how you can actually make it enjoyable along the way. Creating a celebration or gift that you think will please your spouse should be fun! And your husband or wife will be appreciative and grateful for what you did to get to that point.
Pay Attention to Personal Details
My wife, Ally, prefers not to be surprised. When our anniversary approaches, I know that a surprise trip should be crossed off the list of ideas because my goal is to make her happy. Maybe however, your spouse enjoys being surprised. Every person is different. The key is to use the details you already know (or should know) about your husband or wife. Demonstrate that you understand and value him or her enough to know which details would be meaningful.
For example, Ally normally takes care of whatever needs to be done for our kids before we can leave the house. One of those details is arranging for a babysitter. After I thought about what she would normally have on her mind or have to do before we left for our anniversary celebration, I took the initiative to call our babysitter and get everything scheduled. This will be a tremendous relief for Ally.
What are the details, the seemingly little things, that if taken care of for them, would make your husband or wife feel special on your anniversary? If you don’t know, find out. Learn more about the wonderful person you are married to, so that both of you can truly celebrate the gift of each other God has given you.
God Bless,
