Are you like the majority of Americans who make some type of New Year’s Resolution? I typically do and actually enjoy going through the process of making them. In fact, making them is not a bad thing but what is often lacking with New Year’s Resolutions is the resolve to complete them.

Studies show that only about 8% of New Year’s resolutions are completed. We often promise ourselves to get in better shape, enjoy more out of life, get our finances in order or start something new. This is a great list, but I wonder how often our resolutions involve improving our marriage or a serious relationship?

I would suggest that you can be in the best shape of your life, have your finances in order or have started your dream career, but if your marriage or a serious relationship is struggling, no bank account or great looking body will be able to satisfy the long-term the pain that comes with a broken relationship. Here are three resolutions that will help heal any broken relationship.

Resolve to Prioritize: If work, activities, and family obligations keep you running at a fever pitch to the point that you rarely have time to spend together as couple then you are out of balance. This is not healthy for the long-term.  You should resolve to schedule (yes schedule), a time each week (or daily if you can, even if it is just 15 minutes) that will work for both parties.  When you do schedule that time, you must honor it as a priority.  You should decide ahead of time what this togetherness will include, and what it will not include. What is important here, is that you are working together to come up with a plan that creates space for the two of you to spend time together doing things that helps draw the two of you closer together.  Remember that you must not let anything get in the way of this time together outside of a legitimate emergency.

Resolve to lighten up.  We often take life so serious while doing our best to take care of all the responsibilities and demands that come our way. We need to give ourselves permission to laugh once in a while.  We do not need to be afraid to carry on a bit of nonsense now and again, and rediscover how to play with each other.  We need to relearn the art of flirting and teasing positively with one another. This will go a long way in pumping some life-blood back into our relationship that too often becomes boring and routine.  The bible says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine.”  When we lighten up and start laughing again, we regain that sparkle in our eyes that was there when our relationship first began.  It is time to get that sparkle back.

Resolve to Serve.  If you want to add meaning and significance into your relationship, consider taking on a service project together.  This might sound crazy but I have seen several couple’s relationship dramatically improve after they did a service project together.  They said it helped them focus on doing something together that was far more important than spending so much time arguing over what are often petty and insignificant issues.  You could deliver Meals on Wheels, work in the local homeless shelter, help with a Habitat for Humanity build, assist with a community playground cleanup, or volunteer to help put together care packages for members of the military.  There are many organizations that would gladly take your help; all it takes is for the two of you to decide to do it.  I promise you that if you do this, it will be doubly rewarding, not only for the people you help but also for your relationship.

As we go into 2016, I would strongly encourage you to thank the Lord daily for your spouse, and any other important relationship.  Let these people know how committed you are to prioritizing time together, laughing more and serving together.  This will go a long way in helping make 2016 your best year yet.

God Bless,

Doug Hedrick