Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner—Amy Bloom.

Military families are not unlike thousands of couples around the country in that they struggle with communication. The way we communicate plays a big part in marriage. It defines how we relate to our spouses and to our children.

Poor communication can actually lead a marriage to utter failure. If you’re in a military family you well know the added challenges of long absences and duties that break into daily life—all of which when out of balance, can threaten your relationship with your spouse.
 

Four Simple Communication Tips to Keep the Balance

There are a number of ways to communicate with your spouse.  Why not improve on your communication style with some of the following methods or types of communication?

1. Keep Communication Open, Encouraging and Positive

Long-lasting marriages are usually characterized by open, encouraging, and positive communication between spouses. Learning how to properly identify issues that must be resolved is also a communication skill that no married person can afford not to have.

2. Discuss It

Having a discussion gives you time to see each other’s point of view a lot better. You must learn how to talk and listen attentively, clarify issues, and acknowledge each other’s thoughts and feelings.

3. Don’t Confront It in Anger

Confrontation has gained a bad reputation—even the connation in confront feels negative. Instead of shouting and letting anger drive a conversation, write down your frustration, get permission from your spouse to come back to it at another time and then follow through.

4. Don’t Ignore It

On the flip side, if you choose not to confront something that really is bothering you, and instead you simply do nothing, you not only ignore your misunderstandings, you add to the wedge building in your marriage. Ignoring a problem is no better than shouting about it. Resolutions lie in open communication, so find the right time and commit to a level of vulnerability.

Communication is an age-old challenge, but really the answers for communication that works is found in putting on selflessness and recognizing your spouse as worthy of your full attention…without judgement. Christ calls us to love one another as He has loved us. Military families, you’ve already been willing to sacrifice your spouse, child, or other loved one for your country. Christ calls us to lay down our personal ambition for each other as well. It’s not easy, but it’s also our duty.