How to Keep Your Husband Falling in Love with You

Do you remember falling in love? It seemed so natural…well at first. I would argue that falling in love is one of the best experiences we go through, until it is not. Have you ever wondered though what makes us fall out of love as men and women? I believe it comes down to an understanding that love is more than a feeling—it is a purposeful commitment. Love in its brightest, fullest, most beautiful form is complete selflessness and an unquenchable desire to help the other person become the very best of who God created them to be.

I have worked with countless number of couples who have shared their heartwarming stories of how they fell in love. However, sadly enough, they also shared their stories of how they fell out of love, or so they thought. From these stories, I have put together some key insights of what I believe are some effective ways wives, to keep your husband falling in love with you. Next week, for you husbands, I will share effective ways to keep your wife falling in love with you. Here is what I discovered.

  1. Be in his corner. Men desire loyalty more than nearly any other thing. The words you speak and actions you take have a powerful way of affirming this to him. For you to be in his corner, means that you are letting him know that you support him that you believe in him and that you choose him above all others.
  2. Admire your husband. Next to loyalty for men is admiration. In today’s culture, I hear some women talk about feeling awkward or resist showing outright admiration for their husband for fear of looking like they are the weaker sex. Admiration, however, is far from weak. It is important to let your husband know what he is doing right and what you admire about him. Men crave admiration from their wives and if you make it a practice of doing this, you will be amazed how their spirits are raised.
  3. Bring him good news. Women and men hear news differently and have different ideas on when the best time and place is to discuss it. Something that women may not always think about is the ratio of bad news to good news however. After a long day at work or at home with the kids, the tough news (or what may come across as negative or disaffirming) might be the first thing you want to talk to your husband about, but please, resist the urge. Tell him the good news first! Then think through a better time and place to share what may come across as negative or bad news when he will be a better frame of mind.
  4. Have fun. Yes, when you get married you agree to become “business-like” partners by default, but keep in mind that you have to have fun too! What often goes away after being married for a while is the fun couples used to have together. You need to find ways to have fun together now. Any yes if you are wondering, this does mean that sometimes you may have to do something that only he would describe as having fun.
  5. Balance your roles. This might be difficult to hear but one of the reasons men fall out of love with their wives is because they feel they have been replaced by their children. This is usually unintentional, but it is something that is real and you need to be mindful of and proactive about to keep your husband falling in love with you. It is important to remember (for both husband and wife) that your commitment before God and family and friends was to your husband, not your children. So make sure you let him see that you choose him first. Your days may be full of work, taking care of small kids or driving your teens from place to place, but do your best to allow emotional space for your husband and strive to balance your roles as mom and wife. This may mean getting some outside help so you can have more time to devote to your marriage.

If you desire to have your husband continue to fall in love with you, make it a regular practice of showing loyalty, admiration, having fun and reassuring your husband of your all-encompassing preference for him! If you do this regularly, I believe God will transform your marriage and take both of you to a whole new level of joy and satisfaction.

P.S.

If you are wondering what won the love challenge, I have included it below. I hope it inspires you.

“About 4 years ago, my mom had a hip replacement that had issues and ended up leading to infection and other health issues. To fix it, she had to have a false hip put in, which meant she basically couldn’t walk for a year until the infection healed completely. It also meant she was bed-ridden for that year, so my parents got a hospital bed for the living room for her to live in for that time. During that whole year, my dad slept on a cot right next to my mom to be near her, even though their bedroom was just upstairs. He changed wound packing, distributed medication, and drove my mom to tons of appointments. We joked that my dad earned his nursing degree that year 🙂 The love and devotion my dad showed to my mom in those many months was the perfect definition of “in sickness and health” and true love. Praise God my mom healed, but she still faces some minor health issues today, and my dad is always right by her side and helping to care for her, a perfect example of Christ-centered love.”

God Bless,

Doug Hedrick

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