On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 representing someone who always has a positive attitude, how would those who know you the best rate you?  If you had known me when I was a little younger, you would have never guessed I struggled with a positive attitude. I did my best to present myself as an upbeat, got-it-all-together, positive person. But deep down, I struggled with it — especially as it related to my professional career.   Now looking back, I realize that my negative emotions delayed the blessings God had in store for me.

I can tell you that having a positive attitude (or not) will impact your physical, spiritual, and emotional health.  We owe it to ourselves, and those closest to us, to get this right.

So what does it mean to have a positive attitude?  

What is a Positive Attitude?

Having a positive attitude means that you look for the good in things, rather than concentrating on what is bad.  Your attitude is a “settled” way of thinking or feeling about someone or something. It’s usually also reflected in your behavior.  If a negative attitude is focused on fear and what could go wrong, a positive attitude looks for what is possible and what could go right.  People with a positive attitude will turn feelings of fear and worry into ones of excitement and curiosity.

But let me be clear on this point, having a positive attitude has nothing to do with thinking things are great when they are not.  Sometimes life is just hard, and it is okay to be honest with how you are feeling. Where this becomes harmful is when your feelings turn into a consistent pattern of thinking that ultimately impacts the choices you make and your interaction with other people.  

The changes I made didn’t happen overnight, but I finally got to the point where I was tired of battling my negative attitude and the impact it was making in my life.   

Change your Thoughts.

If you were to think of yourself as the gardener of your mind and your thoughts represent what grows, then think of positive thoughts as what helps produce life and growth, while negative thoughts produce weeds that stunt life and growth.   

When you are struggling with having more weeds than beautiful flowers in your garden (e.g., your mind), then first recognize this as fact and accept its presence.  First be honest with yourself; then you can make meaningful change.

Second, give yourself a break.  It’s easy to beat ourselves up and put more pressure on ourselves when this is the last thing we really need.  Have you ever considered why your negativity is there in the first place? Maybe a past hurt or disappointment is causing you to feel more negative.  Our brains are wired to find patterns, and often anxiety and fear are based on something that happened in the past. I had a series of disappointments, and those disappointments became the source of what ultimately turned into a negative attitude.  However, once I understood why it was there, I could direct my thoughts to reinterpret my disappointments differently, which helped me become more positive than negative.  Make sense?

Want more thoughts on creating a positive attitude? Make sure to read my blog next week, as I will focus on ways to create and grow a positive attitude despite setbacks and hardships.  If I have hit a hit a nerve, please share your thoughts with me.  I would love to know: How do you grow a healthy attitude in your mind?

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Your Life Coach,

Doug