When you signed up for the military, you had to count the cost and consider how your decision would impact your life. If you were married before this decision, my guess is you discussed the impact this would make with your spouse. If you met your spouse after your military commitment, you may not have discussed this issue fully, although that does not mean you did not try.
Regardless, military couples in (or formerly in) the military have at least one thing in common—they need a strong support system to help them be successful. No marriage can be strong in of itself; it needs the support and encouragement from others.
One of the themes I have often heard from military couples is that they were unaware how important a support systems would become until they experienced their first deployment or extend time away from each other. The health of a marriage can often hinge upon the strength (or lack thereof) of the support system that has been established. If you do not have one, it is time to get started.
Here are some important considerations to make to get started. The first step involves identifying the support system that may be available to you. Here are five questions to help you do just that.
- On-Base Support
What support do you have access to on or near a military installation? When you relocate (whether within the US or abroad), you should receive access to resources that discuss women’s groups, moms groups, groups for dads and more. Tap into the ones that may meet your needs. Even if you just reach out to say hello to a member from one of each group, you are becoming active in building that support group and contributing to a very healthy habit of staying connected to others. - Religious Organizations
What religious organizations are you affiliated with or want more information about? There are plenty of opportunities to tap into religious networks, churches, and other religious institutions that you can become involved with in order to build strong relationships. In fact, studies show military couples who are involved in a religious community in general have healthier relationships. - Community Clubs
Do you live in an area where there are clubs or community organizations you can become involved? I might add many of them may offer a military discount if you have to pay a fee to join. Whether it’s a local YMCA or a tennis club, search out the club based on your own hobbies or interests. - Virtual Communities
Have you thought about a virtual community? With the popularity of online social networks, communities have evolved to be more than a group of people meeting in a physical location. Take advantage of virtual communities that combine your interests, hobbies, favorite sports, and more! You may not ever have to leave your home to tap into these communities, and many military spouses are already enjoying wonderful connections through these.
The bible teaches the importance of staying connected with one another. This is especially important for military families who are more frequently away from the loved one. If you want to keep your marriage strong, if you first start out by identifying what resources are available, you are one-step closer to tapping into a support system that will help strengthen your family even during the most trying of times.