4 Creative Ways to Support Your Military Spouse at Home

Have you ever wondered why so many articles are written about how to support a spouse who is away on a deployment? Me too, so my team took some time to put together some helpful suggestions on what the spouse who is away on a deployment or an extended training exercise can do to support their spouse back home. Our loved ones back home have a lot to shoulder while their spouse is away so it’s due time we consider how to show them the love and respect their deserve and brighten their day. Here are helpful tips to get started.

  1. Discover what your spouse’s love language is before your departure. I love Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages. Not only does he approach the topic from a godly perspective, but he also emphasizes the need for couples to not only want to be understood, but also the importance of knowing your spouse’s love language. What his book teaches you is how your spouse prefers to receive love. I learned about this a few years ago and it has made a big difference in my marriage. In his book, there are five love languages. A must read!
  1. Send a written note home. If you want to make a big impression, write the note then mail it, avoid email. It is important to write about something concrete (the weather, the culture, the language, daily activities, your thoughts, whatever is permissible) and write about something personal. Then you should include your thoughts about that concrete thing. For example,
    “the weather has been abominable recently but it reminds me of the time we did “X” together. Remember how we laughed so hard we cried?” Even if it’s short, your spouse back home will cherish that you are sharing how you are feeling now and how connected you feel to them despite the distance.
  1. Take pics of you doing normal things. Depending on what is permitted, you may have to modify what you do, but consider taking pics of yourself doing routine things like tying your boots, buttoning a shirt or brushing/trimming your hair. Believe it or not, your family at home will take comfort in seeing you do normal things and will be reassured that you are not only safe, but that you are the same person away from home as you are at home. Share a few of these pics regularly with your spouse to help them feel secure.
  1. Talk to your fellow soldiers. Ask the men and women you work with day in and out what they are doing (hopefully something positive) and take note. Is there something that someone did that knocked the ball out of the park? If you think that might make a difference for your spouse, do that too! There is nothing wrong with copying good ideas.

If you have to be separated from your spouse for an extended period of time, it doesn’t mean your marriage has to suffer. In fact, it can thrive. The key though is working together to establish successful communication. Remember that no great marriage just happens by wishing it were so, it involves hard work and a commitment by both spouses. But I promise you, it is worth it.

I would love to hear from you on what other winning ideas you have used.

God Bless,

Doug Hedrick

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