3 Secrets to Keep the Spark Alive in Your Marriage

Marriage is tough. Can I hear an Amen please? Whoever said marriage is easy needs to be taken behind a barn and get some sense knocked into them. Too often marriage can be characterized by disagreements, miscommunication, fighting, isolation and struggles in various ways. This is amplified when couples are separated for long stretches of time. If this describes your marriage, what can you do to keep the spark alive?

Here are 3 proven ways to get you started.

1. Pray! Too simple huh? Well, I am here to tell you that most couples do not this or at least they do not do it very often. Many people of faith take for granted this powerful tool far too often. Perhaps couples do not think that their struggle is big enough to need prayer. Maybe to pray is such a daily challenge that it is easy to lose heart and just not pray. Regardless, I promise you that your number one weapon in keeping your marriage alive and thriving is prayer. God wants you to have a great marriage. That is why He gave it to us. One simple way to get started is that when you think about your spouse, see their name or hear their voice, you take a moment to pray for them and your marriage. You could even ask your spouse what specifically you should pray for and then do it! It will make a difference.

2. Date! When you met your spouse, I would guess there was a lot of time spent together, putting your best foot forward and doing things that both of you enjoyed doing. However, shortly after marriage, something changed – life got in the way. We stop dating our spouse. The pursuit is over. The demands of career, military, kids, family and hobbies get in the way. And before you know it, the spark is gone. Let me be clear, your spouse is a gift from God. Your marriage relationship should be your priority relationship over all others. If you would change your mindset that just because you got married does not mean you stop dating your spouse, in fact, it should mean that it just got started. You now just might have to be a little more creative and committed to say no to some things to have the time to spend together. If this means having to pay a babysitter, then get out your wallets and pay! I have spent thousands over the years but it has been money well spent.

3. Invest! No, I am not talking about starting a new hobby in commodities trading. What I am suggesting, however, is that it is important you take time to invest in yourself. Just because you get married doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself in the process. You should do something for yourself that keeps you focused on achieving a personal goal and helps you feel good about yourself. If it means taking a class or surrounding yourself around others who will help encourage you to achieve your goal, then do it. Set short-term goals and then go after it, whether that is getting in better shape, starting a business or pursuing a lifelong dream of writing a book. When you do this, you will feel better about yourself, be more energized and in return, this will help energize your marriage. The stronger you become personally, the stronger you will become as a couple.

Pray regularly, continue to date your spouse and invest in yourself. If you do this, I have confidence that you will see a tremendous improvement in your marriage and in life. Now go and get started!

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